I am legend ??

What a weird name for a movie... but still a Will Smith starrer with such a weird title would have a lot of expectations. Guys guys... that dude is a great actor... everybody loved him in "The pursuit of happYness". I did too and he almost made me cry with his exceptional performance. So here we were.. got the front row tickets about 5 metres from the screen gonna watch the legend movie!!

The movie opens with a news clip showing a mad scientist boasting of finding a cure to cancer by "reprogramming a virus" (how lame could that be... but wait the movie gets lamer every minute)... haan so where were we... yeah she grins all the time expecting a Nobel for her miracle virus. Fast forward 3 years... every human is dead except for our MAN... Willy is the only dude alive on this planet !!!!

He drives around in an extra shiny '07 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500... WOW what a ride !! He uses it to hunt deers/antelopes/lamas/camels/etc on the streets of Manhattan Island, er which now is a jungle ... hmm lame ?? yeah it is. But our dude aint that good in shootin n drivin at the same time... I was praying that he doesnt bang tht God of a car into some tree !! Well, the loser doesnt kill any deer and decides to starve for the day!!

It appears that the cancer cure virus mutated and killed everyone and the survivors turned to some nocturnal zombies who feed on those who are alive... yuck!!
Our dude somehow is immune and he also doubles up as a Bio-hazard scientist who is hellbent at finding a cure and save the planet!! The entire movie was a dud... it was like rolling "Cast Away" and "Resident Evil" into one single movie :-(

I was so disappointed to see an actor of Willy's calibre being wasted over a lame sci-fi movie !! The only good things in the movie were the Ford Mustang, Will's M-16 rifle and his bitch.. er i mean the real female dog. The critter was a damn good actor. The movie ends with the line "blah blah blah... blah blah blah...more blah blah blah... and this is his legend" and u feel like cryin out loud "I am MORON" !!!

Hmmm but what if you were in his position... unleashed in a city all alone among wild animals, zombies, a ford mustang, an assault rifle and a bitch to help you out... wouldnt that be fun ?? huh ??

Tum se hi

Na hai ye paana... na khona hi hai
Tera na hona jaane... kyun hona hi hai.
Tum se hi din hota hai... surmayi shaam aati hai...
Tum se hi... tum se hi
Har ghadi saans aati hai... zindagi kehlati hai...
Tum se hi... tum se hi !!!

-- Jab We Met

Long time since i heard a good meaningful song. These lyrics have some mysterious goodness in them, at least i feel it that way.

Love n Hate

Here i am back in business after a slumber of four months. Had a lot of dumb, moronic, fun-filled, happy, sad, painful and of course life changing events. But who cares ... gotta move on or i ll miss the morning bus !!So where was i ... yeah, so many things happened so fast in the last few months... twas more like a John Woo movie for me.

life changing event huh?? yeah i resigned from my current job :-) ... and I am glad that I did tht... I am glad. There were so many things i loved and hated about this job.I guess in the end the hatred weighed more than my love towards it !! i guess everyone loves and hates things in our life... we humans cant live without that. You cant accept anything thats thrown in to your way. We have our own likes and dislikes.... hmmm that inpires me to make a list of what i love and hate the most.... hate being the evil of the two should go first !!!

1. I hate tomato fry !!! Our housemaid i guess has a tomato farm, she cant make any gravy without tomato in it.Hell... she ll put tomatoes in fruit salads if we ask her to make one.. Yuck.... soon me n my roommates gonna get kidney stones eating all those tomatoes.

2. I hate backstabbing bastards. Havent met many, but its not hard to find this brand of a-holes in the software industry.

3. I hate the IT-Highway in chennai. For laymen... this is supposed to be a 6-lane highway with IT-parks laced on either side. Now taking a bus ride on this stretch is comparable to the thrills of flying to the space in a shuttle.Once i happened to go on this road on ma bike... i cud hear it scream "Mercy O Master... Mercy !!!"

4. I hate washing clothes. Believe me i believe prospective bodybuilders should try out wringing 5 jeans a day. You could develop Salman Uncle style biceps in a week.

Yuck i dont feel like continuing more wth my hatred... aah sigh now the good list...

1. I love my friends. Feeling sad, lonely, bored, disillusioned or wanna blah blah? Friends are the best medicine to all the above disorders !! I simply love mine !!

2. I love my bike. Its a black beauty. A tamed monster. A head turner.. i could go on n on :)

3. I love pencils. "A picture says a thousand words". Some 18th century dude said that. Guess he should be labeled the World's first dude!!

4. I love my cellphone. OM GRAHAMBELLaaya NAMAHA !!!

5. I love Catherine Zeta Jones... phew!! no comments on that :-)

Hmmm, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Why am i writing this bullshit in the middle of the night when i gotta go to office tomorrow. Guess i am a crack!!!

Tagging Along... (My 8 little "Thank You"s)

I was thinking about 1001 different reasons not to write this blog as i thought that the idea was pretty lame. But after lotta chiding and severe criticism by Nasia (my tagger) I finally decided to pen down my eight little thank yous. There aint any particular order or priority as for that matter in the list below, am scribbling just as the words are getting outta the top floor window of my little body. But i have reserved my favourite "thank you" for the last slot.. ahem cough cough so here goes...

1) My Parents

My dear parents, i thank them for everything, for making me what i am today. I know that no words of gratitude from a child would suffice the love,care and hardships endured during parenthood (and thats why i thought this as a lame idea @ nasia). Hmm my dad, the person i respect the most in the universe. Whenever i think of him i get a mental picture of him sitting in the living room reading a fresh copy of "The Hindu" with a hot cup of tea strategically placed on the right side of the coffee table by amma. An engineer from the IISc, a person who easily commands respect from his subordinates but equally helpful to amma when it comes to cooking (he makes the best mutton curry in the whole world!!), housekeeping or raising the two brats (me and bro). And my sweet little amma, who can go on and on with her never ending conversations. Sweet but equally strict at times, more of a dear friend to me than a parent. If i find myself half as good a parent as u two were i would consider myself really lucky !!

2)The Guy Sitting Up There Somewhere

I thank God, first of all for making me a human being and not an ant, a roach or a mosquito. I aint much of a regular temple going guy... but i always have a belief that He resides somewhere inside me, always watching over my deeds. But most important of all i thank him for putting me under the care of my parents.... Look God i sincerely thanked you, so please make me a human in the next life too... WHAT?? only cats get to live nine lives...ah then why didnt you make me a cat in this life !!!!

3)My Grandparents

My very lovable grandparents, who took me in while i joined the engineering college in Trivandrum. They sternly objected to my staying in a hostel and took me in with them much to my relief plus the bonus i got in the form of granny's cooking.I was a stubborn teenager when i stayed with them but they never complained to my parents about my attitude (which i am quite sure i musta shown). My mouth still waters when i think of granny's bright red pickles,chakka varattiyathu (jackfruit jam) and payasams.

4)Daimler-Maybach

For my laymen readers, these are the dudes who invented the motorcycle. In the early 1900s these two german dudes had the weird idea of fitting a bicycle with an internal combustion engine and thus was born the motorcycle aka motorbike aka THE BIKE !! Time has passed by and since then the bike has evolved into a complex and amazing machine. If it werent for them much of the indians would still be on the bullock carts. And we would have had "Bullock Language" as part of the elementary school syllabus to learn the different bullock controlling commands like "Hurrrrr Hurrrrr" or the 349 other different chuckling sounds to be made to communicate with the bullocks.
For most indians a bike is just a piece of machine that takes them from point A to point B but for me its much more than that...

5)Chennai

I thank this city. I came here as a young man with not much knowledge about how life treats us. This city has made me a lot tougher and taught me a ton of how to lead an independent life. Living in a Metro is hard... the confusion, the traffic and no ones has got time for anybody. A perfect boot camp to train yourself for whatever challenges the life throws at you. I hate the salt water in the chennai water pipes though... ;-)

6)Mr Alexander Graham Bell

Hope i got the name right. I thank this dude for making the telephone... which i consider is the invention of the century !! If it werent for him humans would have had to breed pigeons like crazy and practise the "Kaboothar ja ja ja" song to send messages to their loved ones. There would be no Nokia, no Sony-Ericsson and no SMS and of course NO INTERNET AND THAT MEANS NO BLOGS EITHER. So this blog is the direct consequence of what Mr Bell did almost a century ago.
Mr Bell, thanks man for making this world a smaller place !!!

7)Internet

Who knew a network created by a bunch of techies for the US army would turn into something so important for an average man, that now i cannot even imagine a life without it. I thank the internet for geting me back in touch with my old pals of school. And for changing the paper mails to a beep on my desktop. So used we ve got to the net that the scene below aint tht rare across the country.

dude1: (types in a mail) hey dude lets go for a coffee
dude2:(flirting with his GF on his cell and misses the beep of new mail)muaaahh !!!
dude1:(restless for not getting a reply shoots another mail)MAN!! COFFEE???
dude2:(still on fone)muaaaaaah !! (this time a wet squealing sound)
dude1:(turns his head and this time verbally to dude2 sitting next to him)dude i sent u 2 mails !!
dude2:(verbally)oh!! is it?? lemme c...(checks and types back) 5 mins!!

8)My Pals

And last but certainly not the least, my pals. I had a little circle of friends in school, college and now where i am working. I am a nobody without them. An incomplete person... just 5 feet 8 inches of flesh and blood. What makes me a person are my friends. Whenever i am down on something i turn to this little friend circle of mine to seek refuge. I know that they ll be with me through the thick and thin of my life and so will i for them. Friendship i believe is not just an ordinary relationship, its somthing much more than that nurtured over trust, love and care.Its a bond forged in the strongest of fires.I thank all my dear pals from school, college and office for being with me there always. I dont have to mention the names... those reading this will know who they are. And as Phoebe rightly said "Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but friends are for life!!!"

Salaam Bangalore !!!

I make a trip to Bangalore every month but the last one was the most miserable yet the most memorable one so far!! The misery started last week when I had a severe dehydration problem er... from top and bottom [courtesy: my office food topped with dead flies, and sometimes they move their legs like a downed soldier who stepped on a mine]. I was kinda semi-hospitalized and lost a few chunks of my weight. So I decided to go over to my parent’s place in Bangalore to hog as much as I could and gain the lost pounds. I finished the crappy work assigned to me at the office early to take the late night Bangalore Mail.


I hitched a ride on our company bus and reached Chennai Central only to find a stupid strike going on there and all trains were delayed indefinitely… boy!!! this was gonna be a loooong wait. Why do such crap things happen to me every time I go to Bangalore, another time my bus broke down in the middle of nowhere (that’s another long story). It was an agonizing four hour wait during which time I learnt a lotta new things about Chennai Central. Finally when my train arrived at the platform I could do the following things :

a) I had come across every single stray dog at the station and now I could prepare a chart on them cross referencing the breed, coat color and their barking frequency.
b) I could quote the badge numbers of all coolies working there.
c) I learnt that the clock at the far end of platform number 7 was running on Ethiopian National Time.

Anyways my train came and I reached Bangalore four hours late the next morning. And as per plan I started hogging down food much to the happiness of my mom. I had no initial plans of meeting my buddies in b’lore… but it had been a long time since I met any of them, so I decided to meet them and catch up on some good old times. First call to Jerry… place and time decided… The Forum Mall on Sunday. I asked Jerry to pick up Jithu and meet me there. I hadn’t brought much of my clothes with me other than the office formals I was wearing and a few changes for home. I rummaged thru the cupboards and found an old white tee and a pair of jeans which I used to wear when I was in college. Both fitted perfectly and off I went to Forum to meet my buddies.



As always I reached almost an hour before the others, but this was Forum and I aint gonna get bored even if I were alone. After babe-watching for a few minutes I decided to mug up some books for free at Landmark. I went straight to my favourite section… “comics”(:-D hee… I still like comics). I dragged a chair and started reading “Amazing Spiderman Vs Batman”. It was going good and just when Spidey was gonna kick Batty’s butt I felt a hmmm er well… a pleasant air-conditioning in my jeans. The MasterCard ad started flashing in my head where the guy says that its priceless to find yourself unzipped before someone else does… how true!! But how can this be I aint a 2 year old kid, how can I be so sloppy!! Thankfully I hadn’t tucked in my tees, hence no one was gonna spot the open post office, unless I lift my arms or wipe my forehead with the edge of my tees or do anything remotely stupid to that.With a quick flick of a magician’s hand I zipped myself and headed for the upper levels of the store. I was climbing the stairs and here we are again… the air-conditioning returned again. It was like some enemy of mine had created an African voodoo doll of mine and playing around unzipping it, to make me frustrated. I realized the zipper lock was gone for a toss… this was the worst nightmare for any civilized male homo-sapien.

Beads of sweat started forming on my forehead in the 5 degrees Centigrade climate of Landmark. I said to myself… “dude don’t panic… as long as ur tee is out u r safe… and don’t do anything stupid”. And here I was… walking around unzipped at the most happening place in Bangalore. And somehow it reminded me of our very own “mundu” of Kerala. Finally Jerry and Jithu arrived and as we failed to get any movie tickets decided to hog down some food. Meanwhile I called up K and asked him to join us.

Me: K, where are you? We are at forum... can you come here?
K: Yeoh man!! I am at a free lunch… u know if I don’t hog for free it ll be blasphemy!! I ll meet ya guys immediately after this party!!
Me: ok cya bye.

Then we headed to a place outside forum and gobbled up chunks of biriyani. I told my pals to wait while I go n fix my zipper at the rest room. I went inside to zip up, but this time the zipper hook came off totally!! I returned to my buddies and showed them the trophy- the broken zip hook. Both of them almost lifted me by my arms and took me a place nearby to get myself changed. I had to shell out abt 550 bucks to get a new pair of jeans and save the day. Meanwhile Jerry called up K

Jerry: where are you ?
K: Damn my Honda aint starting… I ll be a little late (Sound of breaking chicken bones in the background)
Jerry: Ok (hangs up)

We headed back to Forum to meet Rep and Thomas… and I was wearing my new jeans. We huddled around a table at the Transit food court and started on job crap, tech crap, bike crap, gal crap and discussed on how many lines were drawn in the past one year, how many lines got broken and how many lines became circles. Jerry called up K again.

Jerry: where are you ?
K: Man!!! I just slipped on a banana peel… I ll be there in no time… promise!!
Jerry: grrr (hangs up)

Rep and Thomachan joined us and so did K, with a look on his face which proclaimed that he was waiting for us there since two days!! . It was fun, it was the first good dude-talk of my wavelength since college. One thing that moved me the most during this trip was, I expected only a hi-bye conversation over phone with most of my pals, but to my surprise every single one I called turned up at Forum, some even keeping aside their already scheduled plans… and I am still on cloud nine for that!!! I am a man with few friends but the few I have are worth dying for… and of course I will miss my old jeans.

Plastic Life …

A routine Monday morning… as I seat myself in my cubicle my phone buzzes. Beep Beep!! Beep Beep!!

“Citibank Alert: Your salary of Rs XXXXX has been credited to your savings account”

Ah phew, just when I was thinking of my dwindling monetary resources in my bank. Boy!! Some relief!! My phone buzzes again. Beep Beep!! Beep Beep!!

“Citibank Alert: Your credit card statement for the month of June has been generated. You have a current outstanding of Rs XXXXX. Please pay the dues on or before 10-JUL-07 to avoid interest charges.”

I blurt out “Naasham…ollakkede moodu!!”. When translated, literally it means “Destruction… bottom of the grinding stick!!” (Yeah sounds loco). My big 70mm smile upon receiving the first SMS changed to a grimace, which could have given me a chance to win the part for Gollum in the next LOTR movie.

I can’t disclose on how much those XXXXXs are but the latter one had Rs134 more than the former. There are only two ways out of this misery

a) My salary gets doubled.
OR
b) I start spending less.

The first option is far too unfeasible and second one… haha that’s another far cry. When I flick open my wallet, I get a sense of false pride when I look at all those little golden cards studded onto it like the medals on the chest of a five starred Army General. Ah those little devils… every time I get a statement my sane self shouts out loud “Cut those wretched pieces of plastic and unceremoniously flush them down the toilet”. But I am more insane than sane in these matters.

I am a big spendthrift. I am the kinda guy who spends first then thinks later… sometimes for stuff absolutely useless to me. But if it weren’t for the plastic cash I wouldn’t ve got any of the stuff in my wishlist since college. And I am over-possessive about the stuff bought outta my money, hard earned by banging the keyboard everyday. Like there was an occasion when my roomies who had thought me to be a nutcase confirmed their fears, when I bought my bike (of course by swiping the card) and christened it Romeo. Another example, I was once riding the bus to office while listening to my iPod which I had kept on the seat next to mine. A dude got in the bus and came over to my place and sat on top of my iPod, with the songs blaring at full volume in my ears, I (in a natural tendency to hear my own voice over the loud music) shouted at the man “YOU ARE SITTING ON MY IPOD!!!”. The driver missed a heartbeat, the bus missed a gear and everyone riveted their eyes on me. The terrified dude got up and I yanked the ipod from underneath his butt. There was clear terror on his face. He wanted to get as far away as possible from this Josef Stalin with an iPod. I ve sooo got used to credit cards that I hardly hold any cash in my wallet these days. Be it petrol, clothes, food or movie tickets SWIPE! SWIPE! SWIPE!

I still remember those sweet enticing voices which made me sign up for the credit cards. One of my teammates in office asked out a "credit-card caller" just for fun. She agreed and they started dating and he ended up falling in love with her and eventually married her!! That proves that credit cards can give competition even to Mr. Cupid and run him out of business.

After a grueling day at office I stop by at Odyssey and take a walk thru the audio section, I spot a CD which catches my attention. I go through the contents and find one song which I had seen on TV and kinda liked. I flip the CD and check the price Rs. 399. I fish out my wallet and find only a torn hundred bucks note, instinctively my hands reach for the credit card and I hand it over to the cashier.

The Fear Factor

Ever been afraid of something all through your life? Well I thought I was a person who didn’t have any phobias (or anxiety disorders). I was never afraid of any stupid scary things, when I was a kid, like darkness or the boogeyman who hides behind the closet, I was never afraid of heights, closed spaces or water or whatever. It was not until high school that I realized that I was not free from fears. My family usually used to take a train to our hometown during vacations, but that year my dad decided that it was high time we upgrade to a flight.Being trapped in a pressurized aluminum tube at 35000 feet up in the sky always gave me the creeps. I felt terrible all throughout my first flight. It was monsoon season and flight was bumpy and it appears that I held my mom’s wrist so tight that it went white coz of my grip (damn…and she still makes fun of me for being such a sissy boy that day). I thought that the beautiful flight attendants would keep my mind distracted from the fear, but to my dismay it was an Indian Airlines flight and the flight attendants looked so old that I assumed that they had kids of marriageable age. Since then every time I used to board a flight the fear would come rushing back to me. But eventually I learnt to hide my fear and look cool… but still it is always there inside me whenever I board that dingy aluminum tube.

Hmmm so that was about aviatophobia. After my tenth standard my parents decided that it wud be best for me to continue my education in Trivandrum. So off I went to my hometown Trivandrum. I used to stay with my grandparents in their very old traditionally built house with tiled roofs and false ceiling made of wood. It even had an attic. My granny warned me that there might be rats running about in the attic… but ha I wasn’t afraid of mice. So I decided to explore the attic one day. I climbed up to the attic and started rummaging through the stuff kept there. Then I felt something crawling up my leg, I lifted my pants and found a gigantic spider almost as big as my palm, I went white with fear. It was of the likes I had seen in discovery channel and animal planet!! I had held golf ball sized beetles in my hand when I was a kid but this was ridiculous!! I did some weird tribal dance to shake it off my leg… banged my head somewhere in the process and somehow managed to avoid trampling the poor creature. A few days later I found one of its relatives in the bathroom and this one was even bigger, maybe the daddy of the one in the attic. Afraid to take a shower with a deranged spider watching me all the time, I asked my granny to somehow shoo it away. She had a look at it and told me that they look big and dangerous but are quite harmless, but again I insisted to get it off my bathroom, then she brought a broom and ZAP!! the daddy spider went to insect heaven.

Hmmm so I am scared of flying and weird looking spiders… what are you afraid of ??

A tale of two cities

Since time immemorial there has always been arguments between bangloreans and chennaivasis on which city is better. Well I m kinda torn between these two cities. I live and work in Chennai but the rest of my family resides in Bangalore, so I frequently visit the garden city. But when it comes to arguments I am always up front defending my hot, humid, inferno like Chennai, coz this is where I started my life on my own. When my arrogant* bangloree friends make fun of the Chennai heat, I shoot back that its coz Chennai is the Hawaii of India but I run out of answers when they ask me about the planet’s most beautiful natural resources- yeah… beautiful girls. Its not that Chennai doesn’t have a single one of them…it’s just so hard to find one here (without a boyfirend). When you take a walk in the busy Bangalore streets every other person you brush your shoulders with turns out to be a handsome hunk or a beautiful babe clad in the most fashionable of dress materials.

Seriously... where is everybody? Is it because Chennai is more conservative than Bangalore (one of the reasons I like Chennai more than b’lore)?? Sigh!! And the chances are that whenever you happen to spot one u ll find a hulk of a boyfriend guarding her. Why God why?? Why this discrimination?? Its like gals here prefer bodyguards than boyfriends. What will happen to normal guys like me if every gal starts recruiting boyfriends from gymnasiums?? My best pal who is also my roomy is also the victim of the same disaster. Occasionally we go to the nearby beach to share our grief. While sitting there we see cute chicks zipping past on bikes with their bodyguards...er boyfriends…..who look so ferocious that they could make Mike Tyson pee in his pants just by staring at him. C’mon we are not that bad, we dress well too and own the best bikes in the country and most importantly we look very human rather than characters out of “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe”.My pal even had a weird idea of hiring a hot looking pillion rider for his bike by advertising in free ads !! Well maybe we are a bit of mirror cracking materials ourselves …. I resemble a human drumstick (cute though :D)** and together me and my pal end up looking like the Indian version of “Laurel and Hardy” (I still don’t know whether the fatso is Laurel or is it the other way round).

Well theres one place where you can feast your eyes in Chennai though….the swanky shopping malls of the metro. My favourite being the Chennai City Center….. yeah you Bangalore’s Forum Mall jerkies …..see the pic below and go green with envy muhahaha……



Hmmm so where was I? Yeah if we go to one of such malls on weekends in the evening you can witness the conclave of all hotties in Chennai. Yeah and that’s the reason of the deserted Chennai streets….. I think. From the top floor of the City Center we gaze down at all the sweet looking dudettes …. Realizing that this is not meant for us, at least for a long time to come…. I turn to my pal and say “dude, guess it’s only you and me again…lets go grab a cup of coffee”.

To be continued...

PS: this post is not an argument on which city is better as in some comments that i received. Just sharing my experiences i had, living in both the cities.Watch out this space....more to come soon!!

* sorry my frnds from bangalore, that was just for an effect
** now thats what i call self-confidence B)

The Movie

So here i am....with my first post as a blogger. Kinda late though, for a guy to start a blog after working for two years in software industry... but what the heck better late than never!! I am still wondering what to post as i aint much of a writer and words dont flow outta my head effortlessly....coz maybe i think too much!! Well i'll share with you about something that happened last week. Nothing much, its about a movie....

THE STAGE
--------------
A beautiful and sunny but dusty chennai.... as usual we geared up for a long day in office...but surprise surprise.... all our networks came down. In short the entire facility had come to a standstill. But we being enterprising employees had different ideas to pass the time till the networks were up and running...some started playing badminton, some cricket and some simply pranking around. But of the lot, my group of 6-7 teammates had different plans. An insider from the networking dept told us that some major networking switch had blown off and it wont be rectified till at least evening.The very same day the much awaited rajni movie - Sivaji was set to be released. We decided to go for that and the stage was set for the plan.

THE PLAN
--------------
The masterplan hatched up and the first objective was to secure tickets, as getting a ticket for a rajni movie on the first day is far more challenging than....er hmm ISRO putting satellites in the orbit. We had to pay 200 bucks for the usual 40 bucks ticket but neverthless successfully blocked 20 tickets in a nearby miniscule theatre on the ECR. Next was the mode of transportation....getting a MTC bus to the movie was outta question. So we started literally begging for bikes from fellow teammates who were oblivious to our secret masterplan. Finally we got enough bikes and we set off in the blazing chennai sun to see "THE" movie.... not coz we were fans of the "great actor" but just for the heck of it.

THE DRAMA
---------------
We could spot the crowd in front of the theatre from a mile away. Police vehicles were flying in and out of the place as if it were some riot......yeah it was a riot. People from all walks of life doctors, engineers, School kids and college dudes, auto drivers...everyone was wrestling his way to the ticket counter to see their hero. Not everyone had the luxury of corporate bulk booking like we had.

THE MOVIE
--------------
Finally the movie started. Fans of Rajni were scrawling all over the screen with some bags in their hands. We braced ourselves for the worst. Then came the first appearance of the thespian on the screen... then it was a war zone. Flower petals, fire crackers, confetti all started showering on us from all sides. Boy... we forgot to take our body armor. It was total pandemonium, it was like being caught in a crossfire between two heavily armed groups - one the grr8 actor on the screen the other being his die hard fans. Then as the fans ran out of their ammunition they settled back in the seats to enjoy the movie... so did we.



Then we had a realization, a bit too late for a salvation. This movie was not for the intellectual types like us. Hence we decided to forget all the physics, chemistry and maths that we learnt in school and college and watched the movie as complete morons. Then everything started to make sense. The jet engine like sound when rajni flipped his towel, the hurricane like wind which blew when he got angry, the way the chewing gum finds it way to his mouth after reflecting off walls and his palms and of course the heroine falling for the hero who is elder than her father in real life.Well i was soooo very impressed by on of his antics that i wanted to try it at home.In one scene Rajni had to sign a lotta papers. He gets frustrated...we thought he would use a a carbon paper and finish it off in a jiffy ... but NO... he takes two pens in both hands and starts signing off with both his hands. ... so much for being ambidextrous huh ?? My head started spinning unable to keep pace with Rajni's incredible antics. But i dunno why do we clap when Keanu Reeves does similar stuff in Hollywood and howl when our own Rajni does it here in Kollywood. Then the realization dawned that why go for expensive holly movies when we have our own homebred Neo. Finally after three hours of mental torture, the doors opened and i embraced the sunlight while running towards my bike cursing the idiot who blew out the network switch at the first place !!!!


PS: I had to add this postscript after getting a lotta warning comments that i could get my ass kicked for writing like this about the most "loved" actor of the state. Well though my views expressed in the post are true,i didnt intend to hurt the ...hmm sentiments? of Rajni fans.In fact the dude still looks young for his age and his more "realistic" movie Dalapathi is still one of my personal favourites.